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The curse

When something bad happens to you,
to be able to see what you did wrong even as the thing is still happening to you,

is a curse,
and like any other curse,
i accept it as a blessing,

from my favourite god,
lord ayyappan.

ayappan is the father and brother god,
he says, do not come to me,
when you need me for what I cannot give to you and you should not want of me.

I wonder if you are ready now ayyappa for us to live together?

Ayyappan is god i had thought.
As usual, you've been had Seena.
and my curse asks me -- mockingly, in fact:
when you know there is no god, why did you believe in one Seena?
You are so easy, girl. Gotcha.

This one ends with an emoji, the smiling one.