The eavesdropper's collage

I...
Oh... So, are you back?
Back for good? You know how I hate the silences that seep in like rain water through a leaky window. Drop by drop.
When you come back, it's better.
But how do I keep you with me always?
I have tried several things to call you back. Black coffee at a time when the night is intertwined with the dawn. There you were, somewhere in the depths. But before I knew it the fumes took you away.
The doctors say it is common. Many people before me have lost their thoughts, they tell me. But I tell them that I haven't lost you entirely. Everyday a million versions of you appear in front of me, like a many-headed; multi-coloured dragon. I just don't know which one to chase. You are too quick and too fickle for me.
They don't have a cure, too embarrassed to admit it though, eh.
And then I discovered the cure myself. I know what to do.
I eavesdrop.
So what if I plagiarise? I don't need you anymore. I have other people's thoughts.
I don't even need to chase them till the end, because I don't care.
I am stealing colours from the roads, the restaurants, the cinema halls, and everywhere I go to fill up the empty sky of my mind.
Am I free now, then?
Almost. Because in the dead of the night, there is no one I can steal from.
You win. But only almost.
I lose. But only almost, na?