In which I make an almost successful effort to write

Here is a list of reasons why I do not write, though I sometimes feel a need to as I am living in this country, which I have always loved -- to an extent that I give in to sentimentality and use the word loved way too early in the purported serious essay that I am to embark upon.
The essay is serious because I hope to be able to get to the root of why I do not speak up though the issues being discussed are so important to my very existence.
-- The one main reason I cannot speak (or write) about current affairs is there is a tendency in the ongoing conversation of current affairs to pin the blame on one entity and create a situation of us vs the others so that this never-ending battle may rage on and we may occupy ourselves actively in the breaking of things. When I say create a situation, I believe each of us actually can create situations. These may be petty, everyday situations or ones that can have ripples across the universe and so on. But this ability we have uncanny amounts of. But I believe one must never use one's creative powers to create situations and may take up the arts, because we were born post-enlightenment. So as a person, my first reaction when I see such a conversation developing, is to run back into the house. This can be labelled cowardice and so the first reason is cowardice.
(After having admitted that, I do not have the strength to carry on as I have almost killed myself.
But with the right amount of make-up to hide my tryst with annihilation and a good speech-writer, I will be raring to go, and can speak to you about it for hours as I am told I am a better orator than a writer.)